The trial month has ended! HAH!
Okay, it was more like a month of planning of how 2019 is gonna look like for me. To be honest, I am someone who always has this ‘to do list’ every year. And today’s blog post is all about the first month of this year. I’ve jotted down some of the thing that happened this month and took some time to reflect on why it happened.
1. Count your blessing not your struggles
As much as I want to start this blog post with a happy story and positive impact, something happened on the very first week of my ambitious month. I had been eyeing on this DSLR camera since last year, it was a camera that I want to invest on for my project this year. So I told myself that, I’m gonna get this the next year which is this year. A year have passed, I managed to saved up some money just so I can buy this. But since the original price is more than what i can afford, I looked up for another cheaper alternative, the second hand item. After looking through to many online shop portal, I finally found one. So I researched it up and secured it with the seller and only to found that, she’s a scammer after the payment has been made.
Never had i expect this thing could ever happen to me. I started to judge myself on that time, like how did I ever let this thing happened to me. I was so frustrated to a point I wish some karma would serve her, right at those moment. I could spread the info of her through social media, just like how the society work these days. But I didn’t. I made a police report and whatever happened afterward, I just don’t want to think about it as it makes me sad so much.
I do feel hopeless, especially when it happened just the first week of the new year, a year where i look forward so much to a more hopeful memory. I keep blaming myself for being too easy to be tricked on but having this good friend of mine to comfort me, I feel energized. I still remember her saying this to me : “If that person has decided to lie at you, they already have that bad intention. Even if you’re being careful, they will still do it anyway”. Thanks Ga.
So from then on, I told myself it’s okay. I’ve moved on and i forgive the scammer. I can choose to be sad all day but now, I feel like I can easily list down 10 things that make me happy today and it’s already enough to think that I have a fantastic January.
2. Dream is going to come true if you work on it
I made a clear lists on what I’m gonna do this year and one of them is to travel to more than 1 country. So I managed to secure a return flight ticket for my 2019 trips and still working hard to make it work as smoothly as i can for other thing. I am willing to cut down my food allowance, i stop buying useless stuff and cut those nights out for things like this. And I will make sure this lasts for as long as I can. It’ all about being consistent!
3. Found my niche
If you’re a blogger, you may find this word many times whilst researching on some article about how to create a blog and how to own it. I think I may have found my voice, though it’s still a little blurry but I wish I can work it out along the way as I had this vision and mission on how this blog is gonna look like in future time. I guess there’s a need to be consistent and produce only good content in here. First month and still trying to improve guys. Frankly speaking, I am not a good writer but I love to share my thoughts. This is something that I want to do this year, to write more, something that i feel relief when i am able to express and share what i experience and feel about something through writing, in whatever form whether it’d be journaling on a writing paper or blogging and if my writing can give you some value, that would be my biggest satisfaction, hence 2 post a week (finger crossed on this). And also, I didn’t expect many to read this but to have more than 1k page view within a month is something that I feel, overwhelmed but pressured at time because I feel like somebody is reading my journey so there’s a pressure for me to really emphasize on what I really want to share and spread in this blog, that is positive vibes and to urge you to live the life you want.
A year older is a year wiser but age is just a number kan! So, there’s a thing inside me that urge me to become a better person that is through self development and reading. I finished my study 3 years ago and my brain just need to start functioning again so i just feel like i need to make reading as a habit and to do it as frequent as i can this year. Starting with this first book called What I Know for a Sure by Oprah Winfrey and yeay I finished it last week. I can assure you that, any word coming from Oprah, is something that will make you think. Over and over again. To me, that’s the definition of a good book. Reading a good book allow your mind to start thinking about a thing in a different perspective and if you can apply the wisdom in your real life, that’s magic.
5. Things come when you least expect it
Being so impulsive and clueless about my new year, I applied for Master in Education program last year, got accepted to it and guess what, the registration will be this Feb after the CNY celebration, that’s 2 weeks from today. Not sure whether I should feel happy or not cuz I didn’t really plan through for it the time when I applied for it. But it’s a good thing though, I always wanted to further my study, but with so many plan this year, I think I’m gonna put that on hold first.
My point is, sometimes thing happened when you least expect it, especially when you are in the run of something else, something that you feel much more meaningful and give true colour to your life. And it become harder when you have to make a decision between two important thing. I hate making decision, on any thing including simple silly thing like choosing which toothpaste brand is the best. That’s why when I found good brand, I will stick with the same brand and buy the same thing if it finished because i just don’t like to go through on the research part to see which one is the best but ironically , I want only the best in life. You get me?
Sometimes I wish somebody can just decide everything for me so that I don’t have to think too much but guys, we need to make decision for ourself, this is really important. If we keep letting people to make decision for us, of course they will advice on which one is good in their eyes, you may follow through because you think that’s a good one but you may also come to a path where you become unsure whether it’s gonna make you happy or not in the end. You have to think about the result in every decision you made cuz that’s what really matter in the end. Your happiness. I also learnt to never decide a path for someone else, give a person your thought but never decide how they suppose to act on it.
Anyway, really, ask yourself, even if it’s a good path, ask yourself, do you sincerely want it?